This is the second installment in a two-part series. If you haven't already done so, read Part 1 (my personal Awakening story) HERE.
Awakening isn’t what I thought it would be. I mean, how could it be? The narrative mind has nothing to do with it. As such, it’s likely not what you think either. If you’re walking a spiritual path (especially a pathless one) or even just starting to wonder if there’s more to life than what your mind says, you’ve probably absorbed some ideas that aren’t quite true.
Here are five common myths about awakening that I bumped up against—and what I’ve come to see more clearly from my direct and ever-deepening experience:
Myth 1: Awakening is something you can achieve.
Awakening isn’t something the personal self can go out and get. It’s not a goal. It’s not a prize for being good enough, spiritual enough, or doing the most inner work. It’s a seemingly spontaneous shift in perspective, a recognition of what’s always been here beneath the noise. It can’t be earned because it’s not separate from you. It's not about striving—it's about seeing. My achievement-focused mind had a very hard time with this (and still does on occasion).Myth 2: Awakening makes you calm, quiet, and blissful all the time.
The mind loves to imagine awakening as a permanent vacation from stress, anxiety, or inner noise. We just want to feel better, right? But that's not what this is in my experience. Emotions still arise. A lot. And when there is no solid self responsible for resisting or clinging to them, they can rip through with unbridled force. Feelings and sensations are much more intense now than they ever were. There is nowhere to hide, even if I try.
Thoughts still come and go. A lot. Sometimes they’re loud, churning, or seemingly incessant. Sometimes not. Habits and “unhealthy” behaviors can still show up. The difference is, they’re no longer happening to a fixed “someone;” they’re simply what is seen as the natural unfolding of what is. Liking or not liking comes up, but that is seen for what it is—a conditioned attempt to distract from the unfiltered reality of the present moment. In general, there’s more space, more ease, more fluidity—but not necessarily a constant experience of calm. This isn’t about floating through life—it’s about fully landing in it; peaks, valleys, flatness, and ALL.Myth 3: Awakening erases your sense of self.
I still have preferences, a personality, a name. But the grip has loosened. Even when that grip tightens, it’s no longer suffocating in the same way. The sense of being a solid, separate “me” steering the ship has crumbled. I see that the self is a beautiful and functional character in life’s terribly dramatic play. This constructed self is included in the Whole, but it is certainly not the whole story. There’s more room for lightness, humor, and compassion to well up naturally when I’m not taking myself so seriously. And even though there’s nothing tangible for the hook of human experience to sink into anymore, that doesn’t mean I don’t feel the attempts at hooking… frequently. I’m still me, even though that’s not actually a thing. Clear as mud, right?Myth 4: Awakening wipes out your ego and all your beliefs.
I used to think awakening would mean my ego completely vanished and that I’d be free of all beliefs. At the current moment (and subject to change without notice), ego feels more like an ancient, cunning, shapeshifting pet dragon. It is fierce and overprotective, roaring to keep me safe from what it sees as danger (especially when there is no actual danger). Sometimes it breathes fire; other times, it paces restlessly, unsure of its place. And sometimes, it’s curled up at my feet, fast asleep.
Awakening didn’t slay the dragon, but it helped me see it more clearly, with compassion instead of fear or resistance. My beliefs seem to be part of this dragon’s domain—deeply ingrained and often hidden beneath the surface. I don’t always know what I believe or why, and it doesn’t appear to be as simple as deciding to keep or release them. Instead, awakening has invited me to notice how these beliefs show up and influence my lived experience. I also see that the structure and function of the act of believing is built (and then consistently reinforced) into the human system. Life has the capacity to hold all of this: ego dragons, beliefs, and the deep knowing that none of it is fundamentally true.Myth 5: Awakening ends suffering.
My mind was under the assumption that awakening would mean that all suffering—pain, anger, anxiety, or any “negative” feelings—would just disappear completely. But what I’ve come to see, is that suffering arises not just from difficult experiences themselves, but from the belief that these feelings shouldn’t be happening. Awakening didn’t remove pain or challenges from my life, but it changed how I relate to them. I no longer seem to hold the belief that pain is wrong or must be avoided at all costs. Instead, I’m learning to meet life’s apparent difficulties with unconditional acceptance and presence, allowing whatever arises to be exactly as it is. Sometimes this feels really hard, and there is tightness and contraction around it. But, there is Knowing that every single challenge or hardship is not only required (because it is happening), but is an opportunity to see with greater clarity. From my vantage point, Awakening doesn’t eliminate suffering, but it opens the door to a deeper peace beneath it all.