I’ve had a few bouts of anger/agitation today that I’ve had the privilege of leaning in to. These “negative” feelings are a loving alarm, alerting me that I’m getting caught up in my own untrue thoughts and beliefs. So, when I poked around, the source appeared to be some sort of absurd story about how I shouldn’t have to always compromise with my kid. He should always listen to me, follow my directions immediately, do exactly what I say, and I shouldn’t have to repeat myself. 😂 😂 😂 🤦🏻♀️ I told you it was absurd! No wonder I was agitated getting caught up in a load of garbage like that!
The thing is, I don’t even AGREE with that highly conditioned cultural narrative. It is totally antiquated and not actually beneficial in the long-term for him OR me. Additionally, this tired old belief is not based in anything resembling reality. What happy, healthy child has EVER followed directions like an automaton? It fills me with great pride that my son thinks critically and questions directives when they don’t make sense to him; that’s how we BOTH learn. Sometimes my directions suck! 😂 And compromise is an absolutely essential skill for being a functioning human being in society. Why would I ever want to limit my kid’s opportunities to practice the art of compromise in the safe space of home?
I am eternally grateful for the gift of “negative” feelings, because they alert us to the fact that we are getting lost in illusory thought. Feelings like this are a beautiful invitation to get still and curious about the contaminated thinking that’s polluting an otherwise peaceful existence. They are an invisible fence that zaps us when we’ve strayed too far from home. When we recognize this, we can relax into the suffering and let it guide us to the source of it. Spoiler alert: it’s ALWAYS belief in our own thoughts!