Today, my Narrator chimed in with a tidy little tale about the current state of my life. That is a big part of her job description after all, right? 🧠 Our Narrators like to tell us how things are going in our lives (according to them 😉). Of course, this story also had a whole bunch of feelings attached to it. She labeled these feelings as “crabbiness” and “agitation,” presumably to make the tale come to life. Although I have a deep understanding that this is just what minds do, it doesn’t make the experiencing of it less annoying and uncomfortable in the time it’s occurring.
So, the Narrator says that I’m “stuck in a rut.” She has taken the opportunity to selectively string together the recent instances where I have felt "bored", "whiney", and "unmotivated", and has unilaterally determined that this ”rut” is where I find myself. And now, because of this “rut,” it is apparently my sole responsibility to “find a way out of it.” Narrator is throwing out a lot of “shoulds” and suggestions for solving this problem (that only seems to exist because she created it). It’s a very compelling story, for sure. But what’s ACTUALLY going on here? And what is to be done?
First of all, there is no such thing as being "stuck in a rut.” Does it FEEL like there is? Sure, but only because I’m feeling the Narrator’s STORY here, not the TRUTH. The truth is, I’ve had some low energy show up, and my mind is trying desperately to make meaning out of it. The feeling of “agitation” I experienced today is nothing but Energy + the “Stuck in a Rut” story. The discomfort of these feelings is pointing me back to one thing: I’m believing this story that is inherently untrue. So, of course that feels uncomfortable! It's distracting me from the physical sensations showing up RIGHT NOW! It hurts to not be here!
I’m doing my best to invite it all in and explore, but I probably wasn’t great company for others while this was playing out today! 😬 I sought solitude as much as possible and let my husband and son know what was arising for me. They were both very understanding. 🧡
What do I have to do about this? Well, there is nothing I MUST do. How I feel at this moment is different than how I felt when I was “agitated” earlier today, and it will change again later, all by itself. To move through the discomfort of it all, I simply have to feel what’s arising (which sucks, by the way 😆 ). And if all that feeling becomes "too much", I’ll do the best it occurs to me to do in the moment to ease it. I am still human, after all 😉.
And as a human, I have so much compassion for myself and for ALL of us who experience this exact phenomenon. It is an absolutely universal story that ALL minds tell at one point or another. But the “Stuck in a Rut” story only results in prolonged negative outcomes if we genuinely believe it’s true. Spoiler Alert: It has never ONCE been true for ANY of us, nor will it ever be. That’s good news for sure, and I know I feel a lot lighter already after highlighting it. 🧡