This has been a day with MANY opportunities to feel what’s arising. My mind has been quite busy multiple times, and there have been some interesting (and pretty unpleasant) physical feelings tagging along. I’ll tell you about one of these episodes…
This morning, instead of overly involving myself in the frenetic chatter of my mind, I welcomed my (very big) feelings. I dove straight into my body and felt a very distinct tightness in my chest before my mind had a chance to label it. I allowed myself to simply be curious about it…
What was there?
What was it made of?
Did it have anything to show me?
I stayed with the physical sensation, breathed into it, and observed it tighten and relax. It felt just like a fist in the middle of my sternum, clenching and releasing. At one point it relaxed into an open palm, but the weight of it was still there for a while. The chest fist stayed for much of the morning; I didn’t notice when it passed, but it did. I didn’t have to do anything to force it away; it left when it left.
My mind labeled this feeling as “worry”. Interestingly, my mind continued to insist that I was “really worried” for most of the day, even though the physical feeling had long passed. It’s fascinating how the story can linger long after the acute physical feeling has disappeared.
So, what was there?
Some spiky-feeling energy moving through my body that seemed to result in some ever-changing physical tightening in the region of my chest. There was a label of “worry” along with a mind-created reason for that worry. Was there any ACTUAL connection, though? I don't know...
What was it made of?
Tough to say. It all felt very solid, yet somehow totally fluid at the same time. Once I came out of my body a little, the thoughts acted like a tornado, whirling and swirling, yet somehow not leaving any real destruction in their wake. Just a lot of spinning and movement.
Did it have anything to show me?
Hmmmm… maybe it showed me that I’m a human being having a human experience. Perhaps it showed me that my experience, however intense or heightened it feels, is ALWAYS on the move. Maybe it showed me that this (and everything else) is all simply HAPPENING. To no one. For no one. Even though thought is continually attempting to refer back to a solid ME in the center. Maybe that concept of a separate ME is just movement, too..?